savoy066

Someone told me recently that I could look at my life as though I'm living with a secret.  My chemo so far doesn't make my hair fall out.  I surprisingly do not look as though I'm dying, I look and feel healthy as of now.  I posses the knowledge of my future and those who do not know me, do not.  Walking around the cruise ship and looking at all the happy people on vacation was in a way a daunting experience.  Why do all these people who love buffets and to sit in the sun get to live "forever"?  But I always go back to, who knows what they've been through.  They could have their own diagnosis that they aren't aware of or that they're not visually sharing.      One night we were at dinner on the ship and we were sitting right next to a woman who clearly was growing back in her head of hair.  I immediately had this feeling, she has breast cancer.  Sure enough she struck up a conversation with us and it turns out her and...

I got a flyer in the mail from Dana Farber advertising a young cancer conference at the end of March.  It is just a few hours on a Saturday with some interesting looking talks on nutrition and blogging and having cancer as a mom and all the fun stuff that comes with being younger and having cancer.  I am definitely going to go and I'm pretty interested to see what they talk about.  One of the main things was writing and blogging about your experience so I feel I can definitely relate to that one. I had an increase in a few drugs this past time, non chemo drugs.  We are trying to find a way to make me less miserable the day I get treatment.  I think we had some success but of course all drugs have side effects and I didn't really care for some of the ones I experienced this time that were new. I keep thinking about the cruise and how blessed we are to be able to have gone.  And how fortunate we were to have my mom watch the kids for us.   My mom went ho...

You know that old saying, "time heals all wounds," I have always found that to be so true.  This extra week off of chemo was the perfect time to go on vacation.  Most of my side effects had subsided and it made it so much more enjoyable and that much easier to forget what I'm going through and be able to just live in the caribbean for a week and enjoy myself, ourselves. Every day was better than the last, it was an amazing trip.  It was like a second honeymoon and we did miss the kids because the ship was so kid friendly, and there were a few families with little ones.  They say you either really like cruising or you don't, and we really do and want to go again WITH the kids! Thanks to everyone who contributed to the fundraiser because we definitely were able to do more knowing we had those funds to use to help pay for medical bills.  We did a few fun excursions, kayaking and an animal park.  I am going to post a few pics.  Unfortunately my camera stop...

My daughter turns 5 tomorrow.  I had a conversation with her the other day.  I asked her if I went away for a long time if she would remember me.  She said yes and I asked her if she could try to remind Drew of me, incase he forgot and her response was, "yeah just remind me after breakfast."  My counselor told me this was a completely appropriate way to get the answer to a question I've always wanted to ask her.  Her birthday is hard for me, kind of like christmas, just don't know how many more I'll be here for. Gotta love the 5 year old brain though.  She asked me the other day how you get to heaven after you die.  I can't believe she's asking these types of questions, I don't think I was that inquisitive at this age, but maybe I was.  Being on the other end and having to answer these questions is quite the challenge! I love to watch movies and I try to find light hearted ones, with happy endings, especially when I'm having a hard time with my li...